The Side Effects of the Perfect Relationship

Hello again. So before anyone misconstrues my title, yes, I know people aren't perfect and relationships are not necessarily perfect, but two imperfect people can have the seemingly perfect relationship. I want to talk about some things we overlook when we actually find that one person that makes us feel perfect.

First off, we tend to overlook certain traits that we aren't necessarily attracted to. For instance, if you had asked me 6 years ago what kind of guy I was attracted to, I would have told you tall, dark, and muscular. And the guys I dated in the past certainly had fit that description and then there was Caleb, my tall, blue-eyed, pale, and lanky future husband. The interesting part is even though at first it seems like overlooking these traits, eventually you discover that you are no longer attracted to that same type of guy. Tastes change, but it's not typically before you make that huge decision, but rather after. 

Second, we find new traits to be attracted to. You'll soon start to discover things about that person that you really like. For instance, I was never a fan of blue eyes, but then I saw Caleb's eyes and my whole perception of blue eyes changed. I became obsessed with finding blue eyes that look like Caleb's and apart from the members of his family, I have yet to find anyone with these same blue eyes.

Third, certain attributes that typically annoy you become, over time, if not endearing qualities then at least tolerable in the person you love. For instance, I have a huge problem with clumsiness which is terrible, I know! I can't help it, just people that can't be somewhat graceful and at least manage to hold something without dropping it make me really irritated. And to my sad dismay, Caleb is the world's biggest klutz. I don't think he has a graceful bone in his body, but over time I learned to at least accept it. I don't think I will ever be able to find it endearing though. Sorry Caleb.

Fourth, we overlook typical things that even sometimes caused us to break up with our past boyfriends/girlfriends. Now, I am not saying this is healthy or even that it is okay because if someone does something that hurts your feelings, you absolutely should talk about the problem and try to fix it, but I am saying that it is not unusual for people who are in a relationship with someone that they strongly care about to overlook certain things depending on the situation. For an example, if you and your significant other went out to dinner with some friends and he said something that you found to be a little unsympathetic towards you then you wouldn't immediately make a scene, but rather wait till after dinner. And when you two are alone then you talk it over with him or yell at him about it. Like I said, we all fight and we aren't perfect. But I think most of us would agree that with someone you really care about, you aren't going to embarrass each other over a tiny little outbreak. But with past boyfriends/girlfriends you might have been known to cause a scene in front of a whole group of friends and you might have been known to immediately stomp off without ever talking about the problem. I know I've done it.

Lastly, we don't tend to demand to have this seemingly perfect person's attention 24/7. Which seems backwards doesn't it? However, when we were with those lame guys in the past we demanded to have their attention all the time We wanted them to spend every waking second with us and maybe it was because they didn't seem to want to spend 24/7 with us. In fact, they were unreliable and ungrateful. Once, we find that perfect person though who actually shows up when they say they are going to show up or at least calls and tells you if something came up. They show up when you're sad and they don't leave you until they absolutely have to. Alone time becomes endurable because you know it won't last forever and you two have many, many years left to enjoy each other's company.